my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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