Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
