Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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