The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
