Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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