I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So vagazzling was a success
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
