no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
