Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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