Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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