just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
