No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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