Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize