they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
True college students do jello shots in the library
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