I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
