I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
