You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
