Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You're like the curious george of whores
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
