i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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