What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
