Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
