butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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