I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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