i think i have two assholes
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
