he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
