good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
