goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
