Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
