it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
