So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
