that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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