literally had 100 drinks last night.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
