There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Randomize
