Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
