I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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