I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
