i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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