I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
