you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
