I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
