i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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