Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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