sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
