Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
