LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
