There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
