Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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