Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
