Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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