we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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