so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
